When you come to me with problems, the first thing I want to know is whether you are willing to consider changes in your point of view and/or behavior as a way of achieving better results from your current, stubborn problems.
I want to know whether you are strong enough to tolerate re-assessment of your long held beliefs and habitual behavior. In Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) – the major method I use, you will be exploring perceptions, attitudes, and behaviors that you learned in the past, to determine whether they are appropriate in the moment to moment reality of your current life.
If what you carry from the past to the present is inappropriate or inaccurate creating a distortion of today’s reality, the question is: Do you have the inner strength to turn away from old beliefs and response patterns and replace them with new ones, based on today’s realities?
After many years in this field, I’ve learned that some people want to be supported in their old patterns, listened to as they blame others for their distress, and be validated when they’re angry at others for not changing. They don’t really want to change themselves so that their expectations and behaviors are reality-based. They want others to change.
That’s not the way I work. CBT is about “fixing” oneself. It means you have to give up old stuff that doesn’t work and learn new stuff that does! The rewards to you in self-confidence and resilience are worth the effort. I know that for sure, because I’ve seen it over and over. And, besides, that’s my goal for you.
So, what do you think? Are we a good “fit”? You decide.